Restored To Honorr
Israel knew what authority could become when it was left unchecked, unrestrained, and answerable to no one. They had just lived for four hundred grueling years under Pharaoh’s tyrannical oppression. Remember, it was the lunatic despot who ordered their male babies thrown into the Nile to drown, the very one who ordered their backs beaten under the crackling whip of angry taskmasters, and the one who drove them mercilessly to build monuments to his honor and petty glory.
Yet, in His grace, mercy, and kindness, the Lord brought Israel out of Egyptian slavery. And as He brought them out, He began to build a new civilization on the restoration of honor. In the first four commandments, He teaches His people how to honor Him. Then, at the beginning of the second table, He teaches them how to love and honor their neighbors. And He begins with the first human relationship through which most of us learn authority: father and mother.
God was founding a free society, a culture of honor reaching down into the most basic human relationship: the family. He did not free His people from Pharaoh so they could live without authority or trade cruel taskmasters for lawlessness. He freed them from authority that crushes and brought them under His good and righteous authority. He ordered human relationships into places of honor and responsibility, not to suggest that some people are worth more than others, but to teach that authority is a gift from God and must be exercised under Him.
Parents, your authority is given to you by God, and that is a serious responsibility. You are not household Pharaohs or angry taskmasters. You are called to bring life to your homes through patient, righteous authority, and to show your children something of the care with which God has loved you. Children, you owe your parents honor, not because they are perfect, but because God established the office of father and mother. That honor reflects the honor and submission we owe to God, though no human parent is His equal, and every parent must answer to Him.
So what is honor? It is more than affection or quiet, unquestioning, obedience. Honor means giving a person what is owed because of the place God has given him or her. Luther recognized that honor includes respect and deference. The Reformed catechisms also teach that parents owe their children instruction, protection, and care. The commandment binds both generations.
Because of that, children, obey your parents in the Lord, not because they are perfect, but because your perfect Father has placed them over you and knows what is good for you better than you know it yourselves. Their failures do not give you leave to treat them with contempt or malice. You may not mock them, despise their counsel, or treat your own judgment as the highest authority. And yet, honor does not require you to obey a sinful command or pretend a real wound never happened. God forbids false witness, so we must not lie about our parents’ goodness, but neither should we invent it. Honoring is not lying, and lying is not honoring.
And parents, none of us has been flawless in this calling. We have lost our patience, failed to listen, spoken in anger, and said words that still ring in our children’s ears. We have had ugly moments they may remember for the rest of their lives. Because of this, our children will have things to work through: what we did and what we failed to do. By God’s mercy and grace, some will have to learn how to forgive us. This commandment is not a gag order that shields us from accountability or silences our children when they speak about our failures. We must repent.
The Lord promises long life in the land to His covenant people. This does not mean every obedient child will outlive every rebellious one. Paul carries the promise into the church in Ephesians 6:1–3. But if we stand before God on the basis of our own obedience to this commandment, it should frighten parents and children alike. We have all fallen short. If our hope rested on the honor we gave our parents or the homes we built for our children, we would have no hope.
But there is one Son who honored His Father perfectly. He obeyed where we rebelled, died for our disobedience, and gives His righteousness to all who trust in Him. And there is a Father who loves His children perfectly. He will never betray them, abandon them, or sin against them. Some of us have earthly fathers whose failures have made the word father painful. And, although it is easy for us to be confused here, their failures do not define the faithfulness of our God. Our heavenly Father is the true Father, who will never fail to do what is good.
And, in light of this great Gospel, Christian, we are brought into the love of God, forgiven for our dishonor, and made His sons and daughters in Him. The cross of our Lord Jesus Christ does not overlook the wounds we have caused and others have inflicted upon us. Instead, that ugly hill is where the most visceral truth was ever spoken. It was there Christ bore the full breadth and depth of our sin. And, that cross reminds us, that evil, no matter how dark and grim, will not - Nay CANNOT - have the last word!
